And now - the good news
After a meeting today it's been decided that I'll have greater level of contact with my son in England. This is his wish, and I'm delighted with the news.
There'll be more phone calls, and web cam contact - something that we've both wanted for some time now, and actually have been working toward for almost a year.
Even though I had to 'deal' with my ex during this meeting, I came away relieved and pleased. My son is getting what he wants with contact, and I will be able to enjoy that greater level of communication with him.
Now, it's fair to say without making accusations here, that neither myself, nor my ex, like each other very much. I doubt that will ever change, though I have attempted to be civil - despite his belief that we should pay $40,000 to travel to the UK to meet my son there the first time around. I'm hoping that he will come to realize that expecting such is, quite frankly, ridiculous.
Where does that figure come from?
Eight days travel by car too and from New York, where the cruise ship would leave. (We're in Minnesota...), and of course the seven days of hotel costs, gas, food - that's roughly $2500 right there. He might not be aware that Minnesota is land locked, and the port is 1400 miles away, a 2800 mile round trip.
Then there's the car rental so our business partner is not without a car. One way each way, or there's parking costs... you can add another $1000 right there. So, we're at $3500
Then there's the cost of not one set of four cruise tickets...but four. You see you normally 'cruise' ONE way and fly back. Cheapest I've found is $1100 per ticket before tax, with no reductions for children. So, one way out is $4400. Back another $4400. So, $8800, plus taxes, insurance...that's $10,000 right there on straight tickets.
We're at $13,500 and we've only just arrived in the UK.
Car rental for three weeks. After all, you can't seriously expect us to go see him, turn around and head for home. Car large enough to hold three adults (he is adult size now) and two children...two weeks..and Gas- I'm seeing another $4000 there.
Food, hotels, insurance to cover driving, and other matters. $6000 there. Okay, we're at $23,500. After all, my parents don't have the space to put us all up, and you can't expect us to travel all that way and not show the kids some of the country?
So, I hear you say, where does the rest of the $16,500 come from?
Shutting the business down for a more than a month and building back up after that, because if you don't ship for a month, regardless of the reasons, you spend six months building your reputation back up. Something, as he doesn't run a small business, he probably didn't take into consideration.
So, whilst I understand he'd prefer that I meet our son again for the first time in the UK it's just not possible unless we win the lottery, or I end up on the NY Times best seller list at least three times in a row.
Again, not an attack on my ex. I seriously doubt he had any idea just how expensive the trip would be for us, and why we can't do it. After all...as noted...he doesn't run a small business.
So, eventually, our son will come over here to visit. We've got a lovely house, that I'm truly looking forward to showing him. Trips planned to South Dakota, and some in Minnesota. There's the Wolf Sanctuary in Ely that we're really hoping to take him to, perhaps for a feeding! Then there's Lake Itasca, Paul Bunyon, The Prairie Chicken, The worlds Largest Pelican, and so much more!
There'll be more phone calls, and web cam contact - something that we've both wanted for some time now, and actually have been working toward for almost a year.
Even though I had to 'deal' with my ex during this meeting, I came away relieved and pleased. My son is getting what he wants with contact, and I will be able to enjoy that greater level of communication with him.
Now, it's fair to say without making accusations here, that neither myself, nor my ex, like each other very much. I doubt that will ever change, though I have attempted to be civil - despite his belief that we should pay $40,000 to travel to the UK to meet my son there the first time around. I'm hoping that he will come to realize that expecting such is, quite frankly, ridiculous.
Where does that figure come from?
Eight days travel by car too and from New York, where the cruise ship would leave. (We're in Minnesota...), and of course the seven days of hotel costs, gas, food - that's roughly $2500 right there. He might not be aware that Minnesota is land locked, and the port is 1400 miles away, a 2800 mile round trip.
Then there's the car rental so our business partner is not without a car. One way each way, or there's parking costs... you can add another $1000 right there. So, we're at $3500
Then there's the cost of not one set of four cruise tickets...but four. You see you normally 'cruise' ONE way and fly back. Cheapest I've found is $1100 per ticket before tax, with no reductions for children. So, one way out is $4400. Back another $4400. So, $8800, plus taxes, insurance...that's $10,000 right there on straight tickets.
We're at $13,500 and we've only just arrived in the UK.
Car rental for three weeks. After all, you can't seriously expect us to go see him, turn around and head for home. Car large enough to hold three adults (he is adult size now) and two children...two weeks..and Gas- I'm seeing another $4000 there.
Food, hotels, insurance to cover driving, and other matters. $6000 there. Okay, we're at $23,500. After all, my parents don't have the space to put us all up, and you can't expect us to travel all that way and not show the kids some of the country?
So, I hear you say, where does the rest of the $16,500 come from?
Shutting the business down for a more than a month and building back up after that, because if you don't ship for a month, regardless of the reasons, you spend six months building your reputation back up. Something, as he doesn't run a small business, he probably didn't take into consideration.
So, whilst I understand he'd prefer that I meet our son again for the first time in the UK it's just not possible unless we win the lottery, or I end up on the NY Times best seller list at least three times in a row.
Again, not an attack on my ex. I seriously doubt he had any idea just how expensive the trip would be for us, and why we can't do it. After all...as noted...he doesn't run a small business.
So, eventually, our son will come over here to visit. We've got a lovely house, that I'm truly looking forward to showing him. Trips planned to South Dakota, and some in Minnesota. There's the Wolf Sanctuary in Ely that we're really hoping to take him to, perhaps for a feeding! Then there's Lake Itasca, Paul Bunyon, The Prairie Chicken, The worlds Largest Pelican, and so much more!
posted by Terri Pray | 2:19 PM
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