The Worlds of Terri Pray

The highs and lows of chasing a writing dream. From fantasy to erotica and beyond as seen through the eyes of Terri Pray.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Pulling out of the Mire

I’ve been unable to really focus with writing or much else for the past week and during that time my husband put me literally on bed rest. However, though I am still tired my mind is starting to clear enough to start writing and I have the chance to reflect on some of the things that have happened in this time.

The first thing that comes to mind is the loss of a dear friend, Mart/Atilla/Dragoneyes from online chat. He died RT of a heart attack last week and was little more than 2 years older than my Sam. Both myself, Sam and many other friends we share online were hit hard by the death of this wonderful man. He always has a laugh, a joke, a smile to share. I don’t think he ever hated anyone, not even one woman who stalked and harassed him over the course of a year. He was one of the truest hearts I have ever had the joy of knowing. Mark you will be missed, your death has left a gap in the lives of those you touched.

Stalking, harassment, these seem to have become an online sport for some people. During this week when I have been able to focus I’ve had to deal with issues on the chat site caused by one woman who is going out of her way to make the lives of some of the chatters a misery. She even had the gall to contact me wanting to be unbanned (As of this time she is an automatic boot on sight) as she would not enter Tuchuk again (Tuchuk being the name of the room) The very day she emails me she enters that room three times in quick succession, then tries to use a claim she is disabled as an excuse as to why she shouldn’t be banned. WTF?

Before anyone jumps me about not being sympathetic to someone living with a disability a few facts. My eldest son in the UK is disabled. My Mother is now almost reduced to a wheelchair. My husband is disabled. I cope with an illness that can put me bedridden when I take bad turns. Not one of us use what we deal with as a reason to not be held responsible for our actions. I’ve written two stories with disabled main characters, one of which was in the July issue of Wax Romantic the second one is currently in the submission pile with eXtasy. I have more than a passing understanding of how the net can be a life line and how living with disability can and does add extra pressure to every day tasks. It is not, under any circumstances, a reason to stalk, harass or disrupt business on my chat site.

To show how disturbed this woman is, how focused she is on disrupting the chatting of those she has targeted she actually turned up twice at Mark’s memorial service on another site. How sick is that?

Stalking is not something I tolerate. It’s not a right protected by the First Amendment as one helpful soul at an ISP told me. If it were it would not be a criminal offence. If it where restraining orders could not be issued. Lets use a little common sense here. Yes dealing with the idiot at that second ISP did annoy me. I’ve dealt with other ISP’s, small servers, large ones, and this is the first time I have had to deal with an employee who didn’t know his arse from his elbow.

And since when did an abuse department NOT have a phone number? That’s a first for me. And no they are not making any attempt to contact me, to reply to my emails. If this continues I will be naming the company to warn people that this ISP will not help you.

Onto other things.

I’ve finally started with a clear enough head that the edits and writing that had been put on hold can begin again. Which is a relief. And I am hoping my husband finally decides that he is comfortable with me being out of bed. I am so very tired of bed rest. I know he means well, and I understand it’s the best thing for me right now, but damnit I am calling for an escape crew!

So if I can get some work done over the next few days hopefully he will let me back into the living room over the weekend.


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