Play for Me
Play for Me - a D/s erotic romance- released March 1st 2008
“Don’t look at me that way!” Tyler Jackson snarled, and pulled the large cushion from the edge of the bed. Long strands of dark hair half covered his eyes, his full lips turned upwards into a sneer, his knuckles whitened with the grip on the edge of the cushion in the moment before he threw it. “You never listen to me!”
Before Naomi had the chance to stop him, he’d flung it across the room with more force than she had thought he could muster. He missed her, but the dark blue cushion hit the end table and knocked her new coffee cup onto the floor. Her hands tightened, jaw clenching as she saw the cup shatter. It wasn’t often she treated herself to something new, and now – now he’d broken it in a fit of anger.
“I can’t stand that damn pitying look in your eyes. You don’t think that I can see how you look at me now! Why else would you be curled up with a blasted thing like that cushion?” Tyler nodded towards the cushion she cuddled most nights. “I know what’s going. I know how you feel towards me now. You pity me! I disgust you now. I’m not the man you married and you can’t stand that.” Her husband rocked forward in the wheelchair only to curse as it caught on the edge of a loose rug. “Look at me. I can’t even move across this bloody room without help! I’m a waste of time and space.”
Coffee seeped out across the carpet, adding to the stains she had tried hard to clean up over the last few months of explosive tempers. His moods switched from one extreme to the next, often with little or no warning, something she had struggled to come to accept without lashing out with her own anger or self pity.
It was a part of what he’d been through, the shock of it all, she knew that, understood that. It just didn’t make things any easier for them to deal with. Not when it meant she didn’t want to come home most nights. When she cried herself to sleep nine times out of ten. This wasn’t the life she had planned for, hoped for with him.
Neither of them had planned for this one.
Naomi took a deep breath, and tried to keep calm as she spoke. “It’s not you I pity, love. It’s me. I know that’s selfish of me. I just wanted to remember for a short while what it was like before…”
“Before I screwed up, you mean! Before I turned our world upside down?” Tyler snapped, his knuckles white as he gripped the arms of the chair. “Go on, say it. I know you’re thinking it. I say it to myself often enough. I know just how big a screw up I am.”
The growl made her back up quickly and the fury within his eyes was almost too much to stand. She could see it lash across his face, the way his lips narrowed, the tightening of a dozen lines around his eyes, the furrowing of his brow. Even if she hadn’t heard the fury in his voice she would have known how he felt just by looking at him.
How much longer would it be before he learned to control the temper?
No, not learned. Relearned. He had once been so patient. All those hours he’d spent teaching her, showing her the way through the confusion of her own thoughts and desires. Now – now she barely recognized him.
She barely recognized herself anymore.
“I – I destroyed everything we had, everything we ever wanted.” She watched as Tyler shook his head, heard the hiccup of what might have been a half-swallowed sob. “We had a life, a real life and it’s over. No wonder you pity me, hate me and count the days for when you finally come home to find me dead in this blasted chair.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself. You’re still the man I love. The outside has changed, not your heart, not your mind. You’re still my Tyler. I just wish you could see that. Everything you were is just hidden for now. It’s not gone. We just have to find a way to…”
“That’s not fair. I’m not the same man.” Her husband looked away from her, refusing to meet her gaze. “Don’t lie to me. Don’t pretend that I’m the same when we both know I’m not. It’s not fair to either of us. I’m trying to get this under control, the temper I mean. It’s just not working. I’m not strong enough to fix things. Not on my own. I’m never going to be the same man you fell in love with. Not where it counts. Never where it counts.”
www.darkedenpress.com
“Don’t look at me that way!” Tyler Jackson snarled, and pulled the large cushion from the edge of the bed. Long strands of dark hair half covered his eyes, his full lips turned upwards into a sneer, his knuckles whitened with the grip on the edge of the cushion in the moment before he threw it. “You never listen to me!”
Before Naomi had the chance to stop him, he’d flung it across the room with more force than she had thought he could muster. He missed her, but the dark blue cushion hit the end table and knocked her new coffee cup onto the floor. Her hands tightened, jaw clenching as she saw the cup shatter. It wasn’t often she treated herself to something new, and now – now he’d broken it in a fit of anger.
“I can’t stand that damn pitying look in your eyes. You don’t think that I can see how you look at me now! Why else would you be curled up with a blasted thing like that cushion?” Tyler nodded towards the cushion she cuddled most nights. “I know what’s going. I know how you feel towards me now. You pity me! I disgust you now. I’m not the man you married and you can’t stand that.” Her husband rocked forward in the wheelchair only to curse as it caught on the edge of a loose rug. “Look at me. I can’t even move across this bloody room without help! I’m a waste of time and space.”
Coffee seeped out across the carpet, adding to the stains she had tried hard to clean up over the last few months of explosive tempers. His moods switched from one extreme to the next, often with little or no warning, something she had struggled to come to accept without lashing out with her own anger or self pity.
It was a part of what he’d been through, the shock of it all, she knew that, understood that. It just didn’t make things any easier for them to deal with. Not when it meant she didn’t want to come home most nights. When she cried herself to sleep nine times out of ten. This wasn’t the life she had planned for, hoped for with him.
Neither of them had planned for this one.
Naomi took a deep breath, and tried to keep calm as she spoke. “It’s not you I pity, love. It’s me. I know that’s selfish of me. I just wanted to remember for a short while what it was like before…”
“Before I screwed up, you mean! Before I turned our world upside down?” Tyler snapped, his knuckles white as he gripped the arms of the chair. “Go on, say it. I know you’re thinking it. I say it to myself often enough. I know just how big a screw up I am.”
The growl made her back up quickly and the fury within his eyes was almost too much to stand. She could see it lash across his face, the way his lips narrowed, the tightening of a dozen lines around his eyes, the furrowing of his brow. Even if she hadn’t heard the fury in his voice she would have known how he felt just by looking at him.
How much longer would it be before he learned to control the temper?
No, not learned. Relearned. He had once been so patient. All those hours he’d spent teaching her, showing her the way through the confusion of her own thoughts and desires. Now – now she barely recognized him.
She barely recognized herself anymore.
“I – I destroyed everything we had, everything we ever wanted.” She watched as Tyler shook his head, heard the hiccup of what might have been a half-swallowed sob. “We had a life, a real life and it’s over. No wonder you pity me, hate me and count the days for when you finally come home to find me dead in this blasted chair.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself. You’re still the man I love. The outside has changed, not your heart, not your mind. You’re still my Tyler. I just wish you could see that. Everything you were is just hidden for now. It’s not gone. We just have to find a way to…”
“That’s not fair. I’m not the same man.” Her husband looked away from her, refusing to meet her gaze. “Don’t lie to me. Don’t pretend that I’m the same when we both know I’m not. It’s not fair to either of us. I’m trying to get this under control, the temper I mean. It’s just not working. I’m not strong enough to fix things. Not on my own. I’m never going to be the same man you fell in love with. Not where it counts. Never where it counts.”
www.darkedenpress.com
posted by Terri Pray | 11:04 AM
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